Saturday, 8 March 2014

Dear Allah

Dear Allah,

From the day I came here
There's too many things I did
I hurt people around me
And I don't even know if ever I hurt myself as well
Maybe my stupid imbalance fluid in my brain doesn't work properly
I guess

Some people said I'm selfish
Some people said I'm giving up too early
Some people said I'm pushing myself too hard
Some even said I'm too manja

Whatever people said
I'm the one who gonna go through all these things

Let me tell you
I'm disappointing on myself more than I'm disappointing all of you
I hurt myself more than I hurt all of you
I let myself down more than I let all of you down
And you have no idea 
About how do I feel

People can talk
People can speculate
People can think
Whatever they want to think
But they will never understand you
Even if they say the will

The truth is
They are not in your shoes
They might say they are
But you're the one who wear that all the time
Not them

They can compare your life with others
Or even with their life
But still, you and me are different
And comparison is never an adequate indication
Because after all
They are not only comparing
But they judge

I never expect people to understand me
I just need people to redha with whatever happened
As much as I redha for whatever happened to my life


My previous entry. 
Remember what I told you?
Today it happened. Again.
This time for real. 
Who would've thought?
B 777-200
The famous modern-high-class-technology aircraft crashed.
But well,
Even the unsinkable Titanic sank.

This time I just cannot sit properly
I just feel like my family were in that plane
I even can imagine how panic I was in my previous flight
Holding my emak's hand
And keep thinking that it will all gonna be OK
And trust me it never a good feeling

And now I just can't stop thinking
How do they feel
When they know they were just seconds to die
Again, who would have thought?

In the end
People will just stare in blank eyes 
And think.....
It could've been me...........


Above all, it's always wrote before in Allah's plan
Live and death
Success and failure
And every single things in this world
Allah has plan them way before you even exist

So stop thinking anything happened because of you or even me
It is Allah's plan
It is always Allah's plan

Pray for the best
Let Allah do the rest

In my case
Or even MH370

La Tahzan, Innalahama'na
May Allah bless us all



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thank you very muchooo!

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