Nursing


Tuesday, 30 October 2012

#18 : Music Exception : Be Alright - Justin Bieber



Be Alright - Justin Bieber


Across the ocean, across the sea,
Starting to forget the way you look at me now
Over the mountains, across the sky,
Need to see your face, I need to look in your eyes

Through the storm and through the clouds
Bumps on the road and upside down now
I know it's hard, babe, to sleep at night
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

All alone, in my room
Waiting for your phone call to come soon
And for you, oh, I would walk a thousand miles,
To be in your arms, holding my heart

Oh I,
Oh I,
I love you
And everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the long nights
And the bright lights
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

You know that I care for you
I'll always be there for you
I promise I will stay right here, yeah

I know that you want me too,
Baby we can make it through anything
'Cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
Everything's gonna be alright






-adios-




Sunday, 28 October 2012

Krohzzz

Moving to week 6 tomorrow. Deng! 16 days to surgery final exam. Gue bakalan mampus deh.
-__-"


Well, talking about week 6, aku akan masuk Pediatric Surgery.

I remember back then when I was in my fourth semester, I really impress with this one specialist from Pediatric Surgery. Kagum sangat!

But now.....


Segala harapan hancur musnah. Wahaha.


Hoi, main-main!

I hate surgery. I hate pediatric. And I hate Pediatric Surgery. Haha.

Not really. Takde. Actually, now, aku macam ada this kind of love-hate relationship tau.

I love both pediatric and surgery, somehow senang masuk otak dua-dua subject ni.

TETAPI...

I really hate what it does to my life. Busy shiot. Dan aku seorang yang pemalas.




Entry tamat tanpa sebarang konklusi.













-adios-


Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

Miss my zing

Pokcik : erm, apa tajuk pasni?
Aku : tajuk apa?
Pokcik : tajuk post baru
Aku : wedding
Pokcik : apsal tak buat tajuk "miss my zing"
Aku : macam la slalu baca pon tulis blog camtu
Pokcik : ape plak slalu je baca...





kui3. Baru tau ada secret admirer baca blog. Muahahaha. Okay bai perasan gila.





P/s :
1. I do miss my zing + my monkeys too. Kui3.
2. Pokcik soh update entry ni. haha.



-adios-




Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

Wedding

Fuyyyooo!

No, no, its not that I'm getting married or something. Its just... looking at how eager some people think about wedding makes me wondering, do they think about marriage too?

God, thinking about marriage does make me erm... Seram sejuk. Ha ha ha.

Gila kau blaja tak habes lagi cam erk, tersedak tekak mak oi fikir pasal wedding wedding wedding. Jap, fikir wedding leh tahan. Fikir marriage? Fail. Haha.

Apsal aku tulis ni?



Sebab aku rasa kelakar dengan sesuatu. dan hanya kami sahaja yang paham. HAHA.


Bak kata Fun, member aku, "spender pon mak bapak beli lagi, takyah berangan la ko nak kawen"


Baik Fun, baik.



Tido dulu.



-adios-




Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

Saturday, 27 October 2012

week 5 : selamat hari raya aidiladha

assalamualaikum!

phew. week 5 is not officially over yet, with one oncall left, on sunday morning. on the other hand, i got a day off tomorrow. yeay!

hari raya aidiladha tahun ini dirayakan sekali lagi, untuk keempat kalinya di bumi surabaya, dan insyaAllah ini adalah raya terakhir aku kat sini. amiiin. tak berubah seperti tahun sebelumnya, malam raya, aku kena kerja. kalau last year malam raya aku oncall kat ER ENT, this year kat surgery ward. nothing much except i got a big fight with my oncall's partner due to dia datang lambat 3 jam hokeng!!! sape tak angin. sabar jannah sabar, sket je lagi.

apparently, "sabar jannah sabar, sket je lagi" dah jadi the most favorite line yang aku slalu tweet recently. sebab semakin nak habis belajar, semakin banyak dugaan datang. ya Allah, sabarkan hati, tabahkanlah hatiku menghadapi semua ini. huhu.

malam semalam masa oncall kat ward, takde apa sangat pon, sempat jugak dok berwhatsapp dengan geng-geng dekat untuk celebrate raya skali sebab PKPMICS (surabaya malaysian society) buat majlis malam. so, disebabkan itu, kiteorg pon plan untuk sambut sesama geng je untuk pagi raya tu.

abih je morning report pagi tadi, aku balik rumah, tengok si aizi (housemate sementara), dah siap masak meehun, and tengah wat adunan kuih cara. aku balik-balik je, sembang sat ngan aizi, then tertido dalam setengah jam, baru mandi then siap-siap pakai baju raya. then pagi tadi kami pon beraya la sesama kami. antara juadah yang disediakan adalah, meehun goreng, kuih cara, ketupat nasi, lemang, rendang instant, papadom, nasi minyak, ayam masak merah, hati masak kicap, dan air bandung. and none of them were prepared by me. hahahaha... alhamdulillah, rezeki pagi raya.

sambil-sambil makan tu, buat keluar laptop, then pasang lagu raya. hahaha... beraya di perantauan lah sangat kan. tapi sangat enjoy, sebab this is the last time kiteorang celebrate raya together. pasni balik for good, semua dah hidup sendiri-sendiri... wuwuu...

now jom layan gambar. he he he...



melepak didalam bilik sementara budak-budak laki smayang jumaat

menu aidiladha


kuih cara home made by aizi


pisang family patient bagi di malam raya


monkeys at home@Halaman Dhuha, mak whatsapp... huhu...


kena kutuk ngan pokcik sehari sebelum raya...



gambar poyo :  Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha dari saya yang di perantauan... :)









tamat...










-adios-














Sunday, 21 October 2012

week 4 : the pressure

week 4 is not officially over yet, as there is still one oncall left, on sunday night. 

well, to be in a group with a "mini consultant" is not a good thing. to be that "mini consultant" oncall's partner, is triple times, not a good thing. sigh. life is hard.

"mini consultant" : read : bajet bagus, bajet pandai dan suka merapu. oh not to forget, suka menghilang masa oncall.



aaarrrggghhh, cepat lah habis surgery ni weh!!!


yesterday, 3 of my friends went back to Malaysia. this time, FOR GOOD. somehow reading their tweets, fb status(s) and any other things doesn't make me feel any better. worse, yes. 

for medical students, to pass all those rotation is not easy, especially in my uni. oh, we are talking about MY uni. here's the formula :


  1. brain + luck = pass
  2. no brain + luck = pass
  3. brain + no luck = fail
  4. no brain + no luck = fail


LUCK is the main thing we are talking about. luck that I'm talking here is like as in "you're lucky" or even luck as in "you're lucky enough because u got money, name, pangkat, harta, kekayaan, pengaruh, etc". no matter how brainy u are, but without luck, its kinda hard to pass all those rotation here in one shot. among 273 students from my batch, only half, made it with flying colours, in one shot. the other half, either they have to repeat some of the rotation, or they have not fully finish those rotation due to 6-12(few even 24) months delay before, caused by extension, back then in our early semester. and that includes me.

regret much? yes, because I'm a stupido, and will always be one. but to stop here, is not the solution. they said the moment people usually give up, is actually the closest point they are to the destiny that God has planned. i know that i will never give up on this, but the pressure's keep coming. its not that I'm making things hard but i cant help when my heart feels, erm, aaarrrggghhh, i cant even find the suitable word for it.

thousand times i told myself, to keep calm and focus on what I'm doing, but then, all those stupid thoughts come again, filling my empty brain and then, there i go, I'm losing my track, again.



haish.



need MUST finish this. no matter what.



but ya Allah, I'm tired.



i really need strength, i really need motivation and i really need everyone to understand me and not asking or forcing me to think about the less important thing(s), at least for now.



ya Allah, please give me strength.




and to everyone, i apologize for things i did wrong, but if u could do me this one favor, i would appreciate very, very much.








i. need. your. support.









thank you.








p/s : as usual, i am not "terel" in english.









-adios-







Thursday, 18 October 2012

Mental breakdown

Tau aku tengah buat apa?


Staring at the ceiling. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.


Sistem universiti bertukar lagi. Kali ni sistem exam. Sekali lagi. Mungkin yang keberapa puluh kali.


Membuatkan aku sekali lagi. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.


Why am I here at the first place?


What did I do to deserve these?


Thinking. For the hundred times.


Mungkin belum cukup jadual kami diextend sebulan agaknya.


I had enough of extension. 6+1 months delay is enough. I don't want to live here for another year. Please.


Sistem exam pulak bertukar. Allah, aku memang tak yakin dengan kemampuan diri.


Tengok balik ceiling bilik. Kembali berfikir.


Incident pagi tadi dah cukup mendownkan aku. Tengah hari tadi pulak dapat berita sistem bertukar lagi. Sampai akhirnya aku fikir.





What do they want?







Arghhh. Apa aku nak buat ni?







I need to go back for good.
I need to finish things I've started for the past 5 years.
I need to prove myself to people who doesn't believe I can do this.






I hate this place.
I hate living here.
And I hate being asked when I'm going to finish.







Don't you see that I'm trying here? Don't you?








God, I'm mentally breaking down.


Help me, guide me ya Allah. Please.






-adios-







Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone





Saturday, 13 October 2012

third week

alhamdulillah. settle week 3 kat surgery department. oncall this week pon dah settle. next week punya mencabar sket. 3 kali seminggu, dah la next week masuk neurosurgery. urgh, i never like neuro, tapi kena kuatkan hati bertahan untuk seminggu. fuhhh, semoga kuat menghadapi semua.


nothing much i wanna write except benda bengong yang jadi tadi. haha. aku saja tengok doktor aku ni pasang urine catheter ngan NG tube kat px sorang ni, lalu handphone doktor berbunyi...

doktor : dik, ce tolong amek sat phone saya dlm poket ni. *sambil dok tunjuk-tunjuk arah poket(doc tgh pakai glove time tu)*

*aku seluk tangan masuk dalam poket labcoat die*

doktor : eh eh, bukan poket tu, poket atas ni haa. jangan risau, saya takde bulu dada.

*kelip-kelip mata sat, seluk poket, amek phone, bla*








dan doktor tu adalah doktor laki. haha... bengong, die ada bulu dada ke takde bulu dada ke, macam la aku boleh nampak, and macam la aku peduli pon... haha... apa la sibuk cakap die takde bulu dada. pening sat.










anyhow anyway, today is 13 OCTOBER!!! somebody is turning 27 year old!!! tuanya... ooops... hahaha...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY POKCIK!!! 


semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan dunia akhirat, hidup sentiasa diberkati Allah dan semoga cepat-cepat dapat jodoh. kui3... 



dan semoga cepat kamcing ngan rimau ni. he he.....





but too bad... pokcik berlayar pulak semalam, esok pagi baru balik. wuwuu...





okay bai nak tido pasal penat post call...






















-adios-










Sunday, 7 October 2012

second week

Alhamdulillah! settled for second week in surgery department. Allah, second week was the most tiring week ever. datang spital kol 6 pagi, balik kol 4-5 petang, malam kena wajib study (sebab aku tak berapa nak pandai) pastu kalau oncall straight sampai besok petang. hasil?



hari ni hidung saya berlari, kepala saya sakit, tekak saya pedih. tapi takpe. sakit itu nikmat supaya dapat mensyukuri nikmat sihat. Alhamdulillah.



this week, mari melasakkan diri dengan ortho pula! besok pagi grand ward round dengan prof BP. mati gua. haha. takpe, insyaAllah okay. paling teruk pon if takleh jawab die tanya, AKU KENA HALAU. HAHAHA. pasrah. tapi insyaAllah okay. Allah ada skali kan. relax je. he he he...



phew, am thinking of going back for few days but but but aiyoyo, surgery ni oncall seminggu 2 kali, kalau jackpot, dapat la 3 kali. zaman bila aku nak leh baliknya huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. next year kot. wuwuu... lamanya.....




gerimis di lautan, kuubati lukaku sendiri, kuubati lukaku sendiri~~~







bai nak bajet belajar.




p/s : 6 weeks to go.




-adios-



Saturday, 6 October 2012

#17 : Music Exception : Too Close - Maddi Jane (Feat. CJ Holland)




Too Close - Maddi Jane (Feat. CJ Holland)


You know I’m not one to break promises
I don’t wanna hurt you but I need to breathe
At the end of it all, you’re still my best friend
But there’s something inside that I need to release
Which way is right, which way is wrong
How do I say that I need to move on
You know we’re heading separate ways

And it feels like I am just too close to love you
There’s nothing I can really say
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more
Got to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
So I’ll be on my way

You’re giving me more that I can return
Yet there’s oh so much that you deserve
Nothing to say, nothing to do
Nothing to give, I must leave without you
You know we’re heading separate ways

And it feels like I am just too close to love you
There’s nothing I can really say
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more
Got to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
So I’ll be on my way

I’ll be on my way
I’ll be on my way
Hmm.. Oh oh oh
I’ll be on my way
I’ll be on my way

You know I’m not one to break promises
I don’t wanna hurt you

And it feels like I am just too close to love you
There’s nothing I can really say
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more
Got to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
So I’ll be on my way






p/s : I’ll be on my way...











-adios-



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