Nursing


Sunday, 25 March 2012

sensitive

hola.

besok sudah masuk hari ke 29 di paediatric. alhamdulillah semakin boleh beradaptasi dengan cara kerja seorang paediatrician(ayat nak poyo je kan). walaupun sebenarnya paeds ni sangatla mencabar minda emosi dan fizikal untuk berkomunikasi dengan baik dengan kanak-kanak. nama je nanny, tapi kadang-kadang fail jugak. hrm. papehal semalam aku dapat patient budak sorang ni baik gila. padahal sakit. asyik muntah je. tapi dah kuar spital dah smalam. rawat jalan je. umur 9 bulan. comel. ko tunjuk gigi je dia dah gelak2. memang la nak kena gigit ke lempang ke pasal comel sangat. wakaka. hrmm. nampak gaya, semakin menghampiri hari-hari ujian, emosi aku ni makin tak betul. padahal ahad depan dah nak convo. tapi emosi teruk la. taktau apa nak jadi. sensitip sangat. wakaka.

minggu lepas aku sempat emo ngan kerabat aku. sensitive punya pasal la. hrmm. 2 hari lepas, aku sound member batch aku. selamba badak. aku tak tau apehal aku jadi sensitive sangat. tapi aku tak bleh la orang sibuk sket je hal aku, bajet tau semua hal aku, haa, mula la aku nak melenting. pastu hari ni aku fail menjadi seorang manusia yang bersyukur. urgh. tolonggggg. apa la nak jadi ngan aku ni. hrmmm.


kesimpulan : aku memang seorang manusia yang teruk. 


bai esok aku kerja pagi. ceh, macam la selama ni kerja petang kan. 


okay bai.


-adios-





listen to your heart

again, from Tiffany Alvord





I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Listen to your heart, mm-mmmmmm

I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.






-adios-

Saturday, 24 March 2012

you're so fine

this one is GOOD





It feels like December
The birds flew across my bedroom window
And the spiral staircase
That we used to hang around 'til 3 in the afternoon

I remember that day
The purple hoodie that you're wearing
And the smile up on your face
Your hair was flowing in the air
As you were sitting by my side
You moved me with your tides

You're so fine
And I wouldn't do anything
To deny you
And I would die for
You..

Oh baby don't despair
You're not alone I'm always there
I wish I was the one who's scared
Of the sickness that you bear
For as long as I could stay
I'll be happy just to see you smile for another day

But you're gone now
Oh so far gone now
Where the trees are green and cloudy grounds it seems
But my time will come
Oh so let it come
Where we'll meet again
Until the end of time





-adios-

words.

sorry for those i hurt with my words. sometimes i have no intention to hurt but sometimes i just got to defend myself from being hurt. oh and sometimes, its just my way to express some things i hold on for too long before, and sometimes i am just being direct and straight forward to those who really need those. 

After all, if you're hurt with my words, i am truly sorry. 








and sometimes, if you still don't know,


it is just...






ME.




-adios-

Thursday, 22 March 2012

between the two faces.

two faces, not faeces, tapi perangai leh dikatakan faeces gak la.

aku ada 2 cerita. satu pasal budak nama N. satu pasal budak nama D. aku cerita N dulu.

N ni suara kalau cakap, mak aih, memang lembut habis. kalau dengar memang terpesona. tapi kerja kutuk orang kutuk orang kutuk orang. dia ni dah dapat gelaran snake with 2 heads. memutarbelitkan fakta. dan menyebabkan perselisihan faham antara ramai orang. tapi pelik, ramai yang still terpedaya. sebab? gaya cakap lembut habis, macam tak bersalah. aku pernah jugak sket lagi nak termakan kata-kata dia ni. tapi syukurlah Tuhan cepat sedarkan aku. semoga dibukakan pintu hatinya untuk berubah.

sekarang cerita pasal D. orang cakap kalau berpacaran, jangan tunggu lama-lama. tapi hal minah ni memang aku takleh dok lama-lama dekat dia. satu hal hari-hari update status bbm untuk tunang dia ni "semangat ya buat jaganyaaaaaa". pang kena pelempang. satu lagi yang membuat aku kurang senang. ni pon suara lembut bukan main, sopan santun, tapi keras kepala, tak boleh terima cakap orang, dan sentiasa melawan as if dia sangat2 la tak pernah bersalah. homai. si D ni masa jaga a.k.a oncall, boleh tak bantai pi tidur. alasan?sbb baru je jaga ER hari sebelumnya. padahal sebelum dia jaga ward tu, sorang budak ni sampai before start jaga tu mintak tukar jaga, sbb takut die lembik. ye la.ko gila jaga 2 hari berturut2. kalau oncall kat ENT ke ophtal ke boleh la nak buat camtu. ko jaga paediatric? bunuh diri la jawabnya. penat gila kot. yang tak boleh bla. doktor2 semua dah cari, siap nak report kat staff sbb kantoi tido time keje belum settle. pastuh bila budak group confront, boleh plak die menjawab macam tak bersalah langsung. haish.

yang lagi takleh bla? alasan oncall straight 2 hari sbb si tunang die ni pon jaga jugak(kat spital lain la tapi), so if besoknya free, boleh dating. HELLO!!! wake up la. ko medical student kottttttt. ingat budak skolah ke nak dating sampai berkorban macam tu skali. tunang die pon sama je. nama je penah jadi Dokter Muda, tapi tak pernah nak paham. ni baru kisah kat paediatric. masa dekat neuro ngan psychiatry dulu, lagi la selamba badak je. mentang2 la oncall kat satu ward tu berdua, pastu sedap2 ko blah dating kat depan ward dengan tunang ko, tinggal member sorang jaga kat ward. kalau skejap takpe gak. ni sampai 4-5 jam. hadoiiiii. yang aku lagi tak paham apsal tunang ko yang DOKTOR jugak tu tak reti2 nak paham bahasa yang ko ni tgh keje. keje buat la cara keje. kejadahnya dating2 plak? pastu leh plak time dating, member ko yang handle sorang2 satu ward tu, lepas tu ko habis dating, bawak masuk McD yang tunang ko bawak, makan sorang2, member kat sebelah kelip2 mata je. offer pon tak. camne nak offer, ade ke tunang pon bawak untuk die sorang je. adoi. memang sesuai la korang. semoga jodoh berpanjangan dan blah la korang bekerja berdua dan janganlah menyusahkan member2 ko lagi. kesian depa.

belum kes tiap2 pagi kena visit patient yang berpuluh tu, ko boleh datang jam 7am. mintak ampun. px yang ada tak sampai 10 ni pon orang dah datang paling lambat jam 6.30, ni kan plak ko yang px berpuluh, datang pukul 7. dengan alasan, rumah jauh, kalau nak sampai spital kol 5 pagi, kol 4 pagi dah kuar. HELLO makcik, ade orang len kisah ke? carik la inisiatif lain. nama budak medik, tapi takdak critical thinking. hamek kau dah kuar pasal critical thinking segala. dah tau rumah ko jauh, carik la kos2(asrama) yang dekat2, SUSAH sgt ke????? ni keje menyusahkan member group ko. tak pasal2 kena cover ko punya px. lepas tu satu hari datang pukul 5 pagi, amboi gebang kat smua orang mcm ko sorang je la buat keje. padahal satu hari tu je ko datang awal. homai. 

aku takde la benci. tapi kan, ni la sebab aku menyampah dengan orang yang berlindung di sebalik kesopanan dan kesusilaan dan kelembutan. urggghhh. sorang cakap putar belit, sorang degil keras kepala taknak ngaku salah. haish.

belum kisah si R yang sangat la orang ckp sejuk mata memandang bla bla bla. tapi gedik kat fb tak hengat. huaaaaa. pastu kan pastu kan... yang DESPERATE sangat nak dapat boypreng tu apehal? tak padan dengan image tersangat islamic. tapi ayat2 kat status semua wallahualam. Allah je tau niat. aiyaya. sama je macam si I. haish.


kenapa aku membebel? sebab ntah. dah lama tak bebel kat sini. haha. aku nak jadi macam budak ni. bagus dari aku dengar mereka2 ni merepek.






bai.



-adios-


whatever will be will be

result SPM kuar hari ni eh? haha. lepak je. walaupun result aku tak gempak (sampai la ni pon memang tak penah gempak), tapi rasanya Tuhan tu ada something yang dia dah tentukan untuk anda nama dia DESTINY. yang penting ada niat and usaha, walau sikit, insyaAllah cita-cita boleh dicapai. :)



makayah are coming next week. rumah aku bersepah tak hengat. bilik aku apatah lagi. bilik air belum cuci. belum call pakcik taksi epot lagi, banyak mende tak settle. and next week aku dah masuk paeds neuro and tumbuh kembang. speechless. haish.

papehal. dulu result aku camni la lebih kurang. sadis kan?







credit pic from fb.


-adios-


Monday, 19 March 2012

when i look at you.



'cause there is no guarantee




 that this life is easy.






























so do death.





























-adios-

Sunday, 18 March 2012

March









Can't wait for the end of march. Seems like march this year full of hrmmm... tears... and joy too. Hrm.






-adios-

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Al-Fatihah

pagi semalam i was all excited bila baca facebook. my brother's fiancee, Yaya akhirnya dah mendapat gelaran Dr. excitednya. tak sabar nak tunggu turn diri sendiri.

around evening, abgkim bgtau yaya's mum baru je habis operation (she had cancer before), and it will be approximately 7 days critical time after the operation. at first it was just fine and okay. few hours after that, abgkim bgtau lagi, her mum was in very critical condition due to shock. i prayed really hard that everything will be just fine. i slept early last night around 10 o'clock sebab sangat penat. i woke up at 5.30 am, read emak's msg, and then terus bukak fb, innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun, Auntie Ana had passed away. directly after i knew that, i wassap my bro, asking if he's ok. he said he was lost. and he said yaya already on her flight back to malaysia with her siblings yg stay kat UK jugak.

i don't really know arwah but meeting her few times, she was among the greatest person I've ever known. she's very kind-hearted person, lovely as any woman could be, and among the greatest doctor i salute. Al-Fatihah to Yaya's mama. my prayers will always be with u.

to Yaya and family. be strong. few years ago, when i failed my exam, i cried like nobody care and told abgkim and then u msg me telling this, "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…”. i know you know this too right? be strong Yaya. you always have our support, and you know you always be in our family right? again, be strong. we always pray for you.

i couldn't help it but i cried the most when i saw yaya's brother wrote this on his fb,

"i dont know where u're going,
or when u're coming home,
but i left the keys under the mattress of your front door,
for 1 more chance to hold u close, mama.. :"("


Ya Allah, give them strength they need the most right now. i know You know the best. Amiiin.




"Dari Allah kita datang, dan kepada Allah kita kembali.

Al Fatihah to Datuk Dr. Rosnah binti Ismail, 15 March 2012.



-adios-




Sunday, 11 March 2012

11 years of friendship, and she's engaged!

11 March 2012, when our friendship dah mencecah 11 years, and and and she's engaged! I'm all excited!!!

Ya Allah, rasa macam baru semalam kenal kawan-kawan ku ini. haha. nope, now that one is cliche!
tapi actually time really did fly fast. ah, tuptaptuptap tetiba kawan aku sorang ni dah bertunang! dah jadi tunang orang. homai. sangat happy untuk beliau, Tengku Nurul Aisyah Tengku Ismail atau panggilan glemer die, Ecah.

Kenal dia ni masa form 1, kami kelas aliran arab, and kelas kiteorang memang la berposisi di hujung dunia. lagi la ditambah dengan kelas kiteorang yang takde turun naik ni, so dari form 1 sampai la form 3, kami dok kelas yang sama je. hari2 menghadap muka sama selama 3 tahun. haha. time bergembira, bergaduh, kena marah, saling berlagak, saling mengumpat, smua kami lalui bersama. sangat rindu masa sekolah dulu! banyak cerita menarik yang aku ingat. tapi tak larat nak tulis panjang2. haha. sejak kami habis sekolah, tiap2 hari raya harus dan wajiblah membuat reunion bersama, kecuali raya 2011 hari tu, tak sempat nak contact semua. insyaAllah this year kita bereunion lagi rakan-rakan ye.

so few weeks ago, she msg me and few of my friends, telling her big day is coming. ah, so happy for you ecah! but then too bad, saya tak boleh pi, posting paeds memang harapanlah boleh balik. dapat off hujung minggu pon bersyukur alhamdulillah. but never mind, saya melihat dari jauh sahaja! cepat2 lah upload gambar. takpe la ecah, hopefully awak punya wedding nanti saya dapat datang. and jangan lupa doa2 kanlah kami menyusul pula selepas itu. hahahaha. off topic mannn.


aeda tweet me just now said, ecah looked so beautifuuuul and "dewasa". hahahaha. i laugh like no one care! maksudnyaaaaa? haha. see, kiteorang ni sangat la macam kebudak-budakan so bila ada event camni, sangat la rasa lawak! haha. hadoi. aku jugakkk la yang still berhingus, tak mature2, atau tak dewasa2 bak kata aeda. eh, lupa plak, aeda pon geng tidak dewasa gak! hahaha.


masa raya 2009. kan aku dah cakap aku tak dewasa. orang lain pakai baju kurung smua aku and aeda je yg still selekeh pakai jeans pastu amek gambar tunjuk peace kan... hahahaha. ecah in purple kurung.


raya 2010 @ kakak salina's wedding. great time we had together! ecah yang kat tgh tu!


hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. now this one is EPIC!!! cute gila sorang2. hahahahahahaha.





haha. adoi. sambil taip sambil gelak and sambil ingat memories dulu. great time we had, really great time buddy! hopefully friendship ni sampai mati la eh kawan2. grow up sama2, tua pon sama2. hehe.

to Ecah, selamat bertunang, dan semoga berbahagia selalu. kami menunggu undangan nasi minyak/beriyani/hujanpanas dan segala lauk pauk yang ada masa wedding nanti. ucapan terima kasih kami dahulukan! haha.







sekian sahaja.






-adios-






Friday, 9 March 2012

#1 music exception : Secret - One Republic (cover)

The BEST cover I've found so far. Enjoy. :)





I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time
Don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My God
Amazing that we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars

And everyday I see the news, all the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises, just write it into an album
Seen it straight to go
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time
Don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm ick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time
Don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time
Don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

All my secrets away
All my secrets away






p/s : I'm sick of all the insincere




-adios-

#3 flight experience : the dread makcik

back in 2008/2009/2010. i really tak boleh nak recall bila ni jadi. tapi yang pasti, flight dari KUL-SUB.

so, as usual, naik flight yang melibatkan indonesian flight ni, adalah satu kewajiban untuk membeli seat sendiri. tak suka die main acak je seat, lebih2 lagi kalau dapat seat B atau E. homai. buatnya dua2 orang sebelah berbau best. pengsan seketika. so at that time aku beli window seat, as usual. tapi position di emergency exit yang tengah. sebab beli tiket lambat, and banyak window seat habes. let me tell you satu tips, kalau naik airbus, especially A320, DO NOT PICK ANY OF EMERGENCY EXIT, pasaipa tau, pasai seat tak bleh nak adjust ke belakang. sakit belakang kalau nak tido. aku taktau la kalau airbus type lain camne yang pasti A320 mmg takleh. masa Air Asia Indonesia still guna B737-400, aku pernah dapat seat emergency exit tu tapi bleh je nak declinekan seat tu. eh decline eh? ntah malas nak google.

berbalik kepada cerita. masa aku sampai kat tempat duduk aku, sorang makcik ni dah duduk kat seat aku. aku lupa row brape yang pasti seat F. aku pon cam, makcik, bolehkah saya duduk di situ kerana itu adalah tempat saya? dan makcik tadi mereply : anak duduk tempat makcik je lah eh. makcik dah lama tak naik kapal terbang. last naik 10 tahun lepas(kot.lupa). makcik memang takut naik kapal terbang bla bla bla. melihatkan kesungguhan makcik itu ketakutan, aku pon bagi can la. walaupon aku dah bayar seat aku tu. sobs. di sebelah kanan aku adalah seorang pakcik bisnesman cina malaysia yang baik hati.

nak dijadikan cerita. makcik tu punya la takut, aircraft tak jalan lagi pelbagai doa die baca. aku kesian aku pon saja la sembang2 ngan die during taxi smpi la take off. saja nak aleh perhatian die so takde la die cuak sangat. ish baiknya aku. muahahaha. masa sembang tu makcik tu ada la crite, die ni asalnya orang indonesia, tapi kawen ngan orang msia and now dah jadi permanent resident kat msia. die balik indo pon pasai ade kakak die ke sape ntah meninggal. die crite lagi die memang takut naik kapal terbang, kalau nak naik je 2,3 hari sebelum tu dah demam2 dah pasal cuak. haha. sabar je la.

so bila dah take off tu weather actually okay je. turbulence pon sikit2 je, tu pon bila dah sampai laut jawa. tapi makcik ni punye la cuak siap pegang tangan aku all the flight. wahahaha. aku time tu puasa, and since travel dari pagi, memang ngantuk la. seat plak tak bleh nak adjust, last2 bukak meja depan tu and tido macam tido atas meja tu. sakit tulang belakang. makcik tu sepanjang aku dok tido tangan die letak belakang aku gaya tepuk2 nak bagi budak tido. hahaha. pasrah sebentar.  pastu bila makanan datang, die blanje aku hotdog. siap paksa2 lagi biar dia yang bayarkan, sbb aku cakap aku puasa, nnti dah kat epot aku carik la makan. last2 dapat la hotdog sebijik die blanje. haha. masa descend tu sebenarnya dah maghrib dah. tapi aku malas nak makan, minum air je. makcik ni paksa2 plak kan soh bukak puasa. haha. pasrah sahaja. bila dah nak landing, macam besa la akan bunyi 3 tingtong tingtong tingtong menandakan sila pakai talipinggang keledar anda letakkan meja ditempat yang asal bla bla bla... makcik tu asal bunyi tingtong je muka cuak nak mati. haha. aku pon explain la kalau 3 kali biasanya sebab dah nak landing bla bla bla.

lagi takleh bla. bila aircraft bukak tayar, gear down, kan bunyi die kuat macam hape kan. makcik ni dua2 tangan die genggam tangan aku kuat kan main. muahahaha. kesian gila tengok muka die cuak sambil tengok2 ke arah luar tingkap. haha. bila explain tu bunyi tayar kuar la makcik, baru la muka die lega sket. haha. bila dah landing je, muka die lega gila! siap sebelum kuar tu tetiba die jadi hiperaktif. hahahahaha... lawak sungguh makcik terbabit.



habis cerita.





-adios-

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

one step closer

i heard christina perry said this in her A Thousand Year song :

How can i love when I'm afraid to fall


i said :

Dear God, if ever You let me fall in love again after this, please make that one fine man is the only one You chose from the beginning, the only one You wrote in my life list which only You know. Because I don't wanna meet the wrong one anymore and I am just... tired enough.






p/s : jipang dan jiwang. ha ha ha. macam best je lyrics tu. wahkahkahkah. lagu tu pon leh buat wedding song. sweet. hua3.







bai.




-adios-

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

not me not i




Not Me Not I - Delta Goodrem


You mixed me up for someone
Who'd fall apart without you
Yeah, you broke my heart for the first time
But I'll get over that too

It's hard to find the reasons
Who can see the rhyme?
I guess that we where seasons out of time
I guess you didn't know me

If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out

On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No, not me, not I, not I, no, not me, not I

The story goes on without you
And there's got to be another ending
But yeah, you broke my heart it won't be the last time
But I'll get over them too

As a new door opens we close the ones behind
And if you search your soul I know you'll find
You never really knew me

If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out

On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No, not me, not I, not I, not I, not I

All you said to me, all you promised me
All the mystery never did believe
No, I never cry, no, I never, not me, not I

If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the floors between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied

Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No, not I, I won't cry
No, not me, not I, not I




 p/s : The story goes on without you, and there's got to be another ending.




-adios-

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Kerja








I told you keje now is soooooooooo damn tiring. Look at those files. T__T



-adios-

Saturday, 3 March 2012

happy birthday

happy birthday to monkey no 1 and monkey no 5

Farzana : 2 March 2012 - 2 year old

Fahim : 3 March 2012 - 9 year old



happy birthday!



-adios-

sakit

banyak mende yang aku sakit lately. hrmm.


  1. sakit hidung
  2. sakit mata (ngantuk)
  3. sakit hati (broken heart)
  4. sakit hati (sakit jiwa)
  5. sakit kaki (baru lepas terpeleot. ni sumpah sakit gila)
  6. sakit mental (ketahanan jiwa dan minda)
  7. sakit fizikal (ketahanan fizikal, penat)
  8. sakit kaki lagi (melecet, erosion)
  9. sakit badan (gatal)
  10. sakit tak reti nak bersyukur (peringatan ketika sihat)


alhamdulillah untuk segala sakit.






"The love we give away is the only love we keep." Elbert Hubbard









p/s : rasa cam nak balik msia je. paeds is just too tiring. day 6 over 56 is now over. :(





-adios-




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