Nursing


Friday, 17 February 2012

something i read.

i read something just now. ah, how i wish i could just forgive and forget. is it a malay dilemma or is it just another way to say it really is a girl dilemma, not malay. mencarut much? yes i know.

i really need to stop stalking people. hahaha. well, that one is my new hobby. couldn't resist. T__T.

you know, i rarely post about what i feel towards someone. no, this statement is so wrong. what i meant was, i always post about what i feel towards someone, but i rarely, no, i NEVER point up who or which person i tujukan to.

i don't know what happen to me lately. its like something in me is fading. i don't know what it is. hrmmm.

I've been facing real stress in study lately, honestly i don't even have time to think about anything. stress with my groupmate, my study, hospital, oncall and everything. motif? i just want to tell that i don't even have time to manage my own body. urgh.

i go to hospital in the morning, back at the evening, eat, sleep, wake up for night discussion or sometime oncall-ing, or sometime settle down my case presentation. i know i sound so poyo but then this kind of life i tell u aa, really not good for health. hrmm.

i don't know la people. u know what i read just now, it made me think of something. i don't want to be ungrateful but then, i always jealous with pretty people. who know how to make cute face, pretty face whatever face people like. you know why? because people TREAT THEM DIFFERENT!!! i repeat, DIFFERENT!!! i mean, really different. i always end up cursing person who treat them different. they don't do their work, they still get hehe hehe hehe, no problem, u can do it later bla bla bla. if i don't do my work because i HAVE NOT ENOUGH TIME, u know what i get, uuuuuuuuuuuuu how come u cant do this on time bla bla bla, u supposed to be grateful for haing this that blablabla. one simple word from me. WTF.GTH.

u know i try not to be passive. i try to communicate, i smile, i make simple jokes, try to be impressive, yet why people still look at the appearance, instead of what inside people's heart? WHY OF WHY??? 

same goes to my love life la. long time ago, person i knew finally be with somebody else (this time i really point up to u, you know who you are, people know who you are). i don't mind if he wants to. but then, knowing that he treats that girl with blinks of WOW, then i started to think, " HINA SANGAT KE AKU NI TAK LAWA CUTE CANTIK ANGGUN BERGAYA?????". hahaha. saiko much huh??? as a normal human, i started to compare bila time die dengan aku, and bila time die dengan orang tu. and sometime it hurts to know the truth that, that some time ago, u are not that important to that person because u know how he treats the person after u, very, very well, as if that person don't have her life. T___T. and you know what is more pathetic? it is when u know he got crazy all over her just because he is afraid to lose person like her, even he told u hundreds times that he cant stand that person attitude/perangai/any other things. then, logically thinking la kan, what makes he crazily chase and hold on to that girl? NOTHING ELSE MATTER. it is her APPEARANCE/LOOK/STYLE.

ah, life is hard, especially when u got no pretty face to show or even to make fb's or blog's display picture. HA HA HA.

God, u really know how i wish i get that kind of people-like-to-see-look right? but then i don't want to be such an ungrateful creature. i am a normal human. i have everything any human need to live. but then, if i'm being this way, what kind of hamba Allah i am? i really need to be grateful. i really need to open up my mind. i really need to not to think about what other people think about me. i really need to think i am special enough to some other people, and more importantly, to the eye of The Greatest. but if someday i'm losing my mind again all about this stupid stuff, i hope You will bring me back to Your Greatest way, amiiin.




p/s : i really need to not to care about what people judge me, for only God, me and only some small amount of people around me that really know me well.








-adios-









5 comments:

  1. i know lotsa ppl with pleasent faces but in fact they're the most mean spirited ones!

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  2. jadi DM ni mmg ssh...kita senasib..sakit hati tu mmg undeniable. but evrytome u at ur lowest point in ur life, u hv to remember makhluk2 tak guna tu, takde kepentingan dlm hidup ko. well ada actualy indeed. tapi da kite xmampu nak menggediq dan segala macam, nak wat cmne kan.

    takpe la.someday somehoe, no matter how the journey brings u up and down, u will survive this..and by that time, ko tau ko berjaya dengan diri sendiri tanpa perlu fake diri sendiri.oke? hehehehhe

    ReplyDelete
  3. yaya - me tooooo! apparently people with pretty faces must be too proud of themselves so that attitude pon cincai.

    fun-i will survive. but sometimes it just sangat mengecewakan, menyakitkan hati bila dilayan sebegitu. is it a sin to be not pretty?

    ReplyDelete
  4. its not a sin. and the truth is, lbh baek cantek dalaman drp cantek kat luar tp busuk pangai.heheheh

    ReplyDelete

thank you very muchooo!

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